Finding Love Online

Ok, so you are well and truly past the break up, past the hurt and are ready to get out there.

Just where do you meet new people these days?  How do you go about dating?! 

Have you ever thought about online dating?  If you have or haven't, this is a great site to help you get started.  I have tried online dating and it was allot of fun, while I no longer am doing it, I did meet some fantastic guys, all genuine too!

I would love to hear your expriences with online dating, so make sure you post your comments.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Finding love online is possible! Digital dating, or online dating, is not much different than finding love off the Internet. However, online you have many more potential singles to choose from. Personal ad services are abundant online and loaded with singles looking for pen pals, friends, dates, life long partners, and more. This site is full of resources to help you with the digital dating scene.

Love Online - Digital Dating Guide. You can find romance online, anyone can, and here's how!

technorati tags:Love, Online, Breaking, Breakup, Happy, Dating

Men!

Phew! What is it with some guys?? I just have to mention this, I got to work this morning after having a great weekend to find an email from a guy I went to school with and whom I caught up with a few years later and hung out with for a couple of years. He was in the Navy and I was working. We were both seeing other people at the time... so the timing just wasn't right, but there was definitely something there.

Anyway, we eventually lost touch until I bumped into him about 4 years ago and we swapped email addresses and have kept in touch via email since then. He is now married and has a 2 year old daughter. I only hear from him every so often and we exchange the odd "forward" email joke...

Anyway, the email from him that he had sent me at 1am Sunday morning (probably drunk) said how he wished we could go back to those days when he was in the Navy and we were hanging out together and that he just had to let me know that he had feelings for me back then but because he was with someone and I was with someone he didn't do anything about it, and that he kicks himself for never doing anything when he had the chance and that he just wanted me to know this. Why?!

Well, I really didn't want to know that!! I had to laugh... he is obviously not in a good place right now, or he was just really drunk and I was the first email address he could find! Either way, I thanked him and told him that things had turned out how they were meant to be and promptly reminded him of his wife and daughter... I am NOT in the habit of breaking up marriages...

My point?! Sometimes, you just have to accept the way things have turned out and not look book, aim to have no regrets, especially when it comes to men. If we had meant to be together, then it would have happened... I guess as a woman it is easier to see things in this light, men tend to look at things differently and when things aren't going so well at home, they tend to look back to when the grass was greener...

Be thankful for what you have and appreciate the finer things in life... that is what is meant to be!

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Sad break up video

This is a real tear jerker, but it is good to have a cry so if you feel the need or you are going through a break up, this will be good therapy :-)

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Are Breakups 'In'?

It would appear this way with the amount of media coverage of stars live in the magazines these days!

Reading too much of this sort of stuff can lead to an unconscious path of "mucking" up your relationship so that you fit the "norm"... read on to find out more.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Looking at our 'role models' in Hollywood, we'd certainly think breakups have been in for ages! Even within our immediate surroundings we can call ourselves lucky if few people are splitting up or divorced. More and more people come from divorced families, and it seems the silver and golden anniversaries are dramatically decreasing because people simply do not reach that far anymore.

Breakup Magazine - Are breakups 'in'?

technorati tags:Breakups, Breakup, Breaking, Heartache, Star, Love, End

Breaking the addition to our (ex) partners

This is something I can relate to!! And it holds you back from moving on... so read the article below and see if you have a similar story and learn how to break free from your ex, once and for all!!

After all, no point carrying around that baggage, it only weights you down more!

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Being 'addicted' to an ex partner has everything to do with familiarity. They have been there for probably enough time to get under your skin. You share jokes with each other, you may even share a language nobody else understands. You just have to look at each other and know what the other person is thinking. However, you just can't make the relationship work. Either you are still too different, have different goals in life, or other obstacles stand in your way.

Breakup Magazine - Breaking the Addiction to Our (Ex) Partner

So, what went wrong?

Ok, you're at the point where you are wondering just what part you played in the demise of your relationship.  Your partner didn't feel like letting you know why they left, same lame excuse about it being them, not you... how many times have I heard that before?!

It has to be said, and not being sexist here, but it has been my experience that males don't often give you a reason for the break up, so you don't really get any closure and it takes a while to figure out what went wrong and for you to learn... whereas us females tend to give the guy a blow by blow account of why we are leaving them!

When "the one" split up with me (for the second time I might add, should have seen it coming...) I honestly could not believe it.  He didn't give me any explanations, didn't say I did this wrong or that he didn't like this about me, just said that he didn't feel that way about me anymore... arrrgh, very annoying!!

But, after time, I began to look at the relationship and realised that I had had a part to play in the relationship breaking up.  The best way to look at is to sit down, pen and pad in hand and write down all the things that he used to complain about... and what you used to complain about to him.  You will start to see a clear picture start to emerge...

For me, I found that there quite a few areas we just didn't see eye to eye on, I was a little uptight when it came to certain things and he was more thoughtful than I was about certain things... in the end, I realised that it just would never have worked.  On top of that, I was actually quite independant and he wanted someone that was going to be at home when he got home, dinner all cooked!  Lets just say that cooking is not one of my strong points :-)

Anyway, the positive to take out of any relationship is to learn from the mistakes you made... ie, I learned that had I thought to think about him when it came to the little things, like getting myself a drink and not getting him one or thinking to organise dinner for him if I was going out, that sort of thing.  I can definitely say it was the little things we both missed that led to the demise of the relationship.  I wanted someone to spend quality time with me, his version of quality time together meant having all our friends over for a BBQ!

Does it still hurt?  You bet, but I can now stand back after 2 years and see that had we stayed together, it would only have been delaying the envitable.  He is now engaged and due to be married in a few months... I wish him happiness, even if I am a little sad, it could so easily have been me walking down that aisle... but that is life, and not the path I was meant to take.

So, once you have got through the painful parts of the break up and are sitting there trying to figure out just what went wrong, sit down, write it out and see what lessons you need to learn... otherwise you will keep repeating them in your next relationship!

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

technorati tags:Wrong, Breakup, Breaking, Love, Heartache, Analysis

Moving on with your life...

Ok, so it's been a month or so since the break up, your world is not looking as bleak as it was and the pain is down to a dull, numb feeling in the pit of your stomach.

You've been told that it is now time to move forward, life is going on around you and it's time to get up off the couch and go out.

This has to be one of the hardest things to do, to put on some nice clothes, do your make up and hair and head out on the town with the girls. I remember when my partner of 3 years left me and I did this, I ended up running into him, out on the town with his mates... it sent me into a tail spin all over again!

So, how do you get back on that horse? Just how do you pick yourself up after the love of your life has ripped your heart out and stomped all over it?!

Here are a few of the things I did that helped me, I hope that they will help you:

1. Enrol in a personal development course. This is by far the best thing I have ever done for me. It came at a time in my life where I was at my lowest and it helped me to realise that I don't "need" anyone to be happy, that I am responsible for that. It helped me be more aware of the way I reacted to situations and the emotions I felt and the underlying feelings under those emotions... it was an eye-opener and one I was very grateful for. So, if there is any one thing I could recommend, it is this.
   
   
2. Keep yourself busy. Put your focus into something else. Start a new project, anything to keep you occupied so that you hardly have any time to think, let alone wallow in self pity.
   
   
3. Surround yourself with the people that love you. You don't need any negative people around you, so go to those that support you and think about you.
   
   
4. Book yourself on a holiday, go somewhere different. Enjoy your life.
   
   
5. Go on your OE or move somewhere new, or change your job. I found change to help me, it changed my focus to something else.

Bottomline, dealing with a break up is never easy, so take care of you. I remember when "the one" broke up with me, my weight plummeted and I looked sick and unhealthy, don't do this to yourself, in the end, this person is not worth your love.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

How to Break Up.

Breaking up is never the easiest thing to do at the best of times, and depending on how long you have been in the relationship, will depend on how you go about ending it.

I remember my first break up, where I was the one doing the breaking up... it was tough, in fact, it took me a whole year of really figuring out what and how I was going to do it! I was young and the relationship was such that I was very dependant on my partner, and I found it very difficult to leave him.

In the end, it got to the point where enough was enough. By nature, I am a very strong person and to have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years where I was submissive had finally worn out its welcome!

It took me a week to get things organised. My partner was self employed and I did all his bookwork for him, so I arranged for someone to take over that and also informed his boss that I was going to be leaving him! Possibily not the smartest thing to do, but I was so worried about how he was going to take it, that I wanted to make sure that there was someone that would look out for him... as I still cared about him and didn't want to hurt him.

The day came and I had written a letter, because I knew, that at the tender age of 23 I would not be able to utter the words... I got home from work, handed him the letter and waited. We spent the next 2 hours crying and talking and I ended up packing a bag and heading to my parents.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but in the end it was the best. After a few weeks, I began to see just how destructive the relationship had been and how he just was not right for me. Within in 4 months, I had met someone new and was very happy.

Is there any right way to break up with someone? I don't believe there is, but there are definitely some wrong ways!! Avoid these when breaking up with someone:

1. Do not break up with someone via a text, it shows you have no respect for that person and that you placed no value on the relationship at all.
2. Do not break up with someone over the phone. This is just about as bad via text!
3. Keep it clean. If the reason you are breaking up is soley because of that person, then the best way to phrase it is to say something along the lines that you have grown and changed and that you just don't feel the same way about that person that you once did. Attacking someone is never an option.
4. Do not break up with someone in front of their family or friends! Can you imagine the embarrasment and humiliation they will feel? This can lead to the person dumped doing drastic things!
5. Do not have an affair while you are still with someone! This is one of the worst ways to break up with someone and it hurts the other person immensely. If you feel the pull to someone else and think you are going to act on it, then is it not fair to end the relationship you are in? Because if you are having feelings for someone else, you are already gone...

Breaking up is something that we all face at some point in our lives... there are a few lucky few that never have to experience this emotional rollarcoaster, like my parents! They have been together since they were 19 & 20, and it is a very long, distant memory of any of the break ups they suffered prior to then!

In the end, all you can do is look after yourself, be true to you and respect the other person enough to break up with them face to face.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

technorati tags:Breakup, Leaving, Love, Heartache, Breaking, Break

Signs they want you back... and signs they don't!

This is a difficult one, how do you know if they want you back or not?  And how can you trust what you are picking up on?  A tricky one to be sure, read on to figure it out.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Not sure whether your ex wants you back or not? Here are some sure signs!

There are of course the clear signs: your ex tells you to stay away. Some people make the delusional mistake of assuming they are just "playing hard to get". Don't assume this. If someone is telling you to go away, don't insist! You will not be able to force someone to love you, and if by chance they would be playing hard to get they'll stop if you don't respond. Sometimes there are more subtle signs that can tell you whether your ex wants you back:

Breakup Magazine - Signs They Want You Back.... and Signs They Don't!

technorati tags:Breakup, Breaking, Up, Woman, Men, Back, Dumped, Signs

Why men dump woman!

This pretty much covers the main reason that a man has broken up with me in the past, with a few variances.

What about you?

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Women and men get dumped approximately equally often, but both sexes dump for entirely different reasons.

Men tend to dump women for five common reasons:

Breakup Magazine - Are breakups 'in'?

technorati tags:Breakups, Heartache, Men, Dump, Woman

The Perfect Man...

This is a fantastic article from a great magazine... specifically designed for helping you through your break up and the best part, it's free!

Check out the full article and soon you will be feeling much better about your life and moving forward and finding that "perfect" someone to share your life with.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Women, and men, always compare potential partners to their internal reference list of what the perfect person would be like. For every woman this is different; some like the rough-around-the-edges nature man, others go for the suit-wearing businessperson and others prefer the quiet intellectual. Regardless of our individual preferences, does the perfect man really exist. And if he does, do we want him, or do we just think we do?

Breakup Magazine - Finding the perfect man

technorati tags:Perfect, man, Breaking, Up, Break, Dumped, Love, Breakup

When Love Ends

This is a great article by one of THE best know "breakup Guru's" around. If you are in this space right now, read below and see what Tigress has to say.

Hugs, Mrs Handsome

Unless you are one of those fortunate few who met their soul mate in grade school, married right out of high school, and spent the next 60 years in wedded bliss you are going to go through what millions before you have gone through, and what millions after you will go through - a broken heart. The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who go through it. While some simply shake the dust off and get right back into the dating game, others are left so devastated that they never date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why the difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?

For most of us who experience a breakup a normal grieving period will occur: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they end up hospitalized, and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid of getting hurt that they never date again, closing off their hearts to just about everyone. Yet, some don't even grieve at all, subconsciously choosing to simply transfer their feelings for one person immediately onto that of another person in what is called a rebound relationship. Some people find that venting or journaling is the only thing that helps them release the pain and understand their broken heart. For these options I recommend MyBreakupSpace.com or MyBreakupBlog.com.

Why the variation? Well, a lot of it has to do with our loving style. There are many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately needy. While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way, another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness - feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply like the 'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often times head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love' much as an addict will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in love that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are looking for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these qualities or not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their relationships quickly losing themselves and their own sense of individuality, becoming 'the relationship'. Should the relationship end, then shall they, too.

A healthy view of oneself, one's partner, and one's relationship is essential to withstanding the ups, and downs, in our eternal search for that special someone to share our lives with.

Written by Tigress Luv

About the Author
For more breakup advice please visit Breakups Magazine at http://breakupmagazine.com, an online FREE magazine for those going through a breakup, or join us at the Lifted Hearts Breakup Community at http://liftedhearts.com.

technorati tags:love, dumped, breakingup, brokeup, brokenup, broken, hearted, heart, broken, heartbreak, heartache, relationshipadvice

10 things you should know about Breaking up... female view

1. If someone is breaking up with you, it is because they don't want to be with you and they don't care as much about you anymore as they used to, hence the reason they are breaking up with you! Yes, being the person that is doing the breaking up does suck, but it is nowhere near as bad as being the person dumped, no matter how the dumper may feel!!
   
   
2. Granted, no-one likes to hurt another person, but you also have to do what is right for you, so if a relationship is not working, then you have to make the decision as to what you want to do, the longer you stay in a relationship that is not working and you know you could do something about it, the worse it is going to make both of you feel.
   
   
3. If someone breaks up with you and gives clear, concrete reasons why, then you can move on. If someone does not tell you the reason why, never assume that it is you. Lots of people get to a point in the lives where they need to be alone, so that is not a reflection on you. Listen to what the person is saying and try to be objective, I know, I know, this is very hard, but if you can take a step back, then you can save your inner voice beating you up and blaming you for something that is quite possibly not your fault.
   
   
4. Cry, scream, whatever it takes to vent out your emotions during a break up or afterwards, but always direct it at an object, not at the person... in the end, the reason we feel emotions is because we have allowed things to happen, even someone breaking up with us... we choose to be with them... just remember, everything happens for a reason, where are here to live, love and learn.
   
   
5. Breaking up is never easy, no matter which side you are coming from. But know one ever died from a broken heart, you will survive and life will move on, you just have to decide when you are ready to get back up and move forward. Take the time you need, but don't dwell too much, this can lead to depression and negative places... talk to family and friends and do things that make you happy. Avoid seeing the other person.
   
   
6. Be prepared that when you break up, one of you is going to find another partner, sometimes sooner than later and often the dumper is the one to find the new partner, as they are ready to move forward... this is one of the most difficult parts of a break up and there is nothing that can prepare you for it... the best advice I can give, don't allow the other person to know you are upset, be brave and do something to make you happy, visit a day spa, get pampered, whatever it takes to get you back on top of the world... and smile, you never know who might be falling in love with you :-)
   
   
7. Revenge is never an option, even if they cheat on you or do something equally disgusting... however, you can do things like write letters etc and burn them, so that you get those feelings out in the open. The best revenge is to never give that person your precious time... they are not worth it.
   
   
8. A big part of the pain of breaking up is rejection... this is probably the biggest emotion we feel. There is no point rushing out and sleeping with lots of people to make you feel better, because it will not, that is a 'quick fix'. Love yourself, accept who you are and the mistakes you may have made and move forward. Get a new haircut, join a dating agency, do whatever it takes to make you feel whole again, without replacing the person, because that just causes more issues further down the track!
   
   
9. Don't do the "if only..." Going over and over what you could have done, what might have been is self destructive, sure, go over the relationship and your part in it, but once you have learned your lessons, let it go, you cannot change a thing in the past, all you can do is live in the present and look to the future.
   
   
10. You never know what's just around the corner, life changes so quickly, one day you can be heartbroken, the next Mr Right walks into your life... don't you want to be ready for him?! You can get through this and you will.

The best advice I was ever given was from my Gran, she said "If the person you love breaks your heart, repair it yourself with your love and be prepared for the love of your life, because he will never break your heart, ever" right on Gran!

Take care
Mrs Handsome



href="http://technorati.com/tag/Breaking" rel="tag">Breaking, Up, Dumped, Upset, Hurt, Love

10 Things about Breaking Up...

Not sure that I agree with everything that is written in this article... it is written from a male point of view and being as how I am female, some of these things lack a little substance... I will be coming back with my 10 things in the next post. 

What are your thoughts on this article?  Post your comments below.

Take care

Mrs Handsome

1. More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with - don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you, caring about you and wanting a relationship with you are not one and the same.
2. Nobody likes to hurt another person, especially somebody they have been close to, and it is often very easy to guilt trip somebody into staying with you when they are trying to end things. Resist this urge! When you use guilt as a way to stop a break up you not only cheat yourself out of having a good and true relationship, you foster resentment in the other person which could lead to greater pain and heart ache in the future.

10 Things You Oughta Know About... A Top 10 Fact Sheet on Breaking Up

technorati tags:Breaking, Up, Dumped, Upset, Hurt, Love

Breaking up...

When was the first time you were broken up with or did the breaking up?

The first memory I have is being in highschool, I was 15 and my then boyfriend was the same age, we had met through a recreation sport we did together and while our parents "suggested" it wasn't such a good idea that we go out, we ignored them and did. We were together for 5 months and then things just started going weird. I started pulling sulking stunts and he withdrew. The next thing I knew, he was on the phone one night after school, breaking up with me! I was devestated and having to deal with him at school was hard. The next day he made a point of saying hi to me, but I really wasn't in the mood for that.

Being a 15-year old female, just dumped, I was in no mood to play nice! So, what do you do when you have been dumped at the age of 15?! You start rumours of course! I can safely say, this is most definitely not the best way to handle a break up!

Did I get over it, I sure did, did I speak to him, not for a few years afterwards!! It sure made the recreational sport we shared awkward, but as they say... a woman scorned... hehe

Anyway, this is my very first break up. Nothing to spectacular, but very devestating at the time... I wonder if this was a warning of things to come in the following years...

Mrs Handsome

Handsome Returns... what does this mean?

Welcome, welcome, welcome...

This site is all about that dreaded moment in your life when the person you love the most decides that they don't feel the same way about you... Breaking up, being dumped, whatever you want to call it, it hurts and it sucks. Nothing anyone can say or do can make the pain go away... however, there are ways to "speed" up our recovering and that is what I am here to tell you all about!

I have plenty of experience in this department, which is a little sad, but hey, it is life and it just means that I have not met Mr Right or Mr Right Now or Mr Whatever... but I will.

So, stay tuned and read on to find out if any of the stories and tips on this site sound familiar to you and just maybe, you might find something that will help you to move forward.

Take care

Mrs Handsome!